Causerie de Chat

Joe the Cat answers mail. What, no flounder?

Photo of Joe the Cat by Joe the Cat. Who else would do it?

Note: It is my usual practice to write in longtail on yellow legal pads purloined from a local lawyer's dumpster. This particular lawyer throws out scads of unused pads. I think he's padding his expenses, but I'm happy to recycle. We freecats are a thrifty breed. However, I thought I'd hammer this out on the keyboard, so I can post and get this answer out to my correspondent as quickly as possible.

Yesterday, I received a note from a Philadelphia wire fox terrier by the name of Axel. He appealed to my cat senses and sense of taste. Axel is concerned for a cat cousin by the name of Lucas who is ailing and has a loss of appetite. What foods, Axel wondered, might tempt his cousin into eating and help him regain his strength?

Axel, I appreciate your question. Not only do you show a concern for your cousin, but for cats in general.

Cats can be as eccentric in their tastebuds as in their taste. Although I run a catfish company and have made my fortune in seafood, I turn my nose up at salmon. The only part of salmon I enjoy is the crispy skin of a salmon just off the grill. But that's just me.

Otherwise, I enjoy steak (medium), chicken and tuna. Jack Mackerel in the can is a also a favorite. Sometimes, I do enjoy gently sauteed chicken livers, too. Have you ever heard of Flavor-doh? It was developed to help us animals take our medicines, but ... I've discovered that it's much like raw cookie dough: you want to eat it right out of the can. I bet Lucas would be a fan.

Axel, you might have read that cats are lactose intolerant. Well, no one told me. I enjoy dairy products, and if I don't get my saucer of half-and-half in the morning, I am on the phone to my attorneys. Ice cream and I are friends (I enjoy chocolate as well as vanilla) and I would wrestle Paula Deen to the ground for a stick of butter. Everyone has their guilty pleasures, after all.

Do you, as a wire fox terrier, claim your Kitchen Cheese Tax? I'm no King George III, but I have put in place my own version of the Cheese Tax. Cheddar is the coin of my realm.

Does Lucas have access to rabbit? Yes, I like mine fresh from the garden, but maybe if Lucas sampled some fine canned rabbit from a pet health food store, his appetite would pick up. Let me go into the kitchen and see what's in my part of the pantry .... ah, yes. Have you heard of the Instinct line of canned cat food? There's rabbit, venison, duck, chicken, beef .... and lamb. Little lambs helping me sleep on my full stomach, if you get my drift.

You know what I particularly like? Wee Bits dog kibble by Solid Gold. I know, I know ... it's dog food. Good for an evening nibble, though.

Since I am confiding, I will admit to a fondness for sweets. Call it frosting, call it icing, I like it. I would dive into a bowl of the stuff, were I allowed on the kitchen counter (no comments from the dog gallery, please).

Axel, I hope some of these foods will tempt Lucas into better eating habits. There's a favorite quote in my home "Kitties do not live by canned food alone." I take that to mean I should enjoy myself whenever possible.

And I do.

Thank you for writing to me, Axel. Cats and dogs living together, as the Monty Pythons predicted. Solidarity, in all its animal forms, is the way to live.

-- Joe the Cat

Comments

[Axel]

Thanks so much for your very helpful and informative response to my letter. You rule Joe the Cat!

Axel

[Joe the Cat]

Did Lucas dine on any of the delicacies I mentioned? Please be careful with the dairy; not all cats can tolerate it as I can.
I hope Lucas is able to eat a bit and feel better.